Four Things To Do Before You Start Dating

Dating in this era can be quite challenging and difficult. It’s up and downs can be demoralising and with studies done showing that a lot of relationships are failing it would be interesting to try and find out how and what we can do to help ourselves date better.

Recently attended a talk by Dr. Bot at York University and picked a few pointers on important things that one must do before they start dating. Dr. Bot explained the matters in details but today I will summarise them and if you want to dive deep into them you can always enroll in her course that she is offering.

Dr. Bot is a psychoanalyst with over 25 years of practical experience based in Toronto Canada. She has successfully guided ad helped many patients navigate through the tough path of relationships, be it romantic relationships be it work relationships, relatives, or even friendship.

She took all her over 25 years of practice and decided to come up with a course to help people navigate through this relationship issues.

Want to read more about her you can check out her website.

Here are the Four things one needs to check off in order to know that you are ready for a relationship and also increase the chances of having a successful relationship. She heavily emphasizes that everything starts with you. Without you there is nothing.

1. Get a mirror and stand in-front of it, I know right! Sounds very simple to do and yes, it is. This is something you need to do, and as much as practically take a mirror and seat or stand In front of it, in retrospect it is telling us that before you start dating or getting into a relationship do some self-reflection, soul searching. Think about yourself and define yourself. Who you truly are? Look inside you and find out who what and how you are. Explore the deepest and sometimes the most uncomfortable things that normally people avoid thinking about. The things could be but not limited to – when I ma stressed how do I act out- is my communication skill great or do I need to improve on that – do I listen much or I keep on talking without listening. Once you get around exploring this areas and much more other self – awareness areas one is a step closer to making their relationship a success.
2. The second item on the list is How to find your special someone. Interesting and a very relatable question that most people ask and would need an answer to. Dr. Bot explains that in the course one would learn how to choose a partner and a right match for you, she did not delve much into this since she also does not want to pre-empt the whole course, since one needs to pay for the course. From her discussion she mentioned that from the onset Honesty is everything, one has to be totally honest with themselves, one should be willing to accept change and also accept that people are different and should be willing to accept the differences. Once you have explored this then you will be ready to find the special one for you.
3. The third item discussed was dating styles? We had a very interesting discussion around this and we even explored future gamification to try and help people find out what type of dating styles suits them. She cautioned and mentioned that there are types of people that once should avoid and specifically highlighted on avoidant dater, the non-dater, we were surprised with this one “the juggler” and many more dating styles out there. Clearly the course has so much to unpack and explore, and it highly recommended.
4. Lastly but not least, once you have done the three things above and you are now in a relationship what would be the next steps to love, to a happy ever after. Picture sipping Pina Coladas on the sunset with your love partner. That is one beautiful picture.

Well, we do not want to put everything on here, if we do you will not buy the course. This course has been carefully developed with experts, Dr. Stephanie Bot, C. Psych, Psychoanalyst and Donna Marshall, M.A., Counselling Psychology, Registered Psychotherapist and you can ahead and buy the course and start the great journey to a successful relationship.

Wishing you a successful relationship until the next blog post catch you on the next one!